The Phantom of Light's Mind
by MyuAki
Summary: Light's not Kira, but Kira wants to be Light.Still suspected as the dreaded criminal he will slowly become Kira. Can L save Light before it's too late? Will he ever realize what's happening? Or will Kira wear Light as his mask? LxLight,
1. Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer: I own Nothing, the song(s) belong to Andrew Lloyd Weber as DeathNote belongs to Tsugumi Ohba._**

**_LxLight if you haven't already guessed. Slightly OOC Light, though it's more of what may or may not be Light. As we will never be able to fully understand him, or L.  
_**

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Light woke with a start, he'd been having nightmares that disrupted his normal sleeping pattern ever since L released him for the night after his confinement. The Kira percentages had gotten noticeably smaller since he was freed, but there was still a chance of him being Kira so he was put under constant watch with L chained to him. But…he should have never asked for a night of freedom, no matter how much he'd wanted it. He was being haunted, in a sense, by a malicious voice and crimson eyes with a face so much like his own. But he knew he was not Kira, the soul inside him was. He despised himself for being so weak as to have been captured and to have the name of Kira thrust upon him. He believed that no one had the right to judge and execute, yet he was forced to bear Kira-he just wanted to be free.

He sighed, sitting up and shaking his head.

And yet, he wanted to stay, because L was there. He knew he felt something more then friendship for the strange man, but he could not say he completely loved him, for since L could never love someone like him, no matter how equal, his love would not be completed.

He could feel a headache coming, he hated this, what had he done to deserve such uncertainty? He buried his head in his arms as he drew his knees up to his chest, much like the cause of his heartache, was doing as he typed away on the laptop.

"Light-kun seemed to be having a bad dream and is now looking very stressed." L paused a moment before adding. "Were you dreaming of yourself Kira? Or are you stressed because you know something about him but refuse to tell me."

Light tightened his hold around his knees, before slowly letting go and laying back down with a sigh of "No, I'm just…tired" The way he strained the word was barely noticeable, but nonetheless L heard it, and stopped typing. He turned his head slightly to look at his suspect, but he had already closed his eyes, even breaths flowing out of pouty pink lips. If L had been looking at Light while he made his customary accusation he would have seen the forlorn look on his face that brought out his dark, pained eyes.

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This time, Light awoke from a dreamless slumber that had brought him nothing but anxiety and more fatigue. He followed L out of the room after changing into his usual attire, only he had left the coat and tie behind, too drowsy to care. But he quickly covered any sign of this as he entered the headquarters, hardly a pace behind the world famous detective.

Sighing again as he sat down, Light went to work though, he knew it wouldn't matter, because the person they were hunting was…him.

But, not him, he didn't like the fact that he was practically lying to…Ryuuzaki, for now, because before when the genius had accused him and interrogated him, his answer was the truth. He wasn't Kira, but now, he was.

He greatly wanted to turn himself in-but then he'd never be able to see the antisocial panda and he'd be viewed even lower in the detectives bottomless, black eyes. He just couldn't believe that the insomniac considered Light, his number one suspect as a friend. This was partly because Ryuuzaki never told him the truth, partly because Ryuuzaki believed him to be Kira even when he wasn't, and partly, because Light wanted to be more than friends, but if it made Ryuuzaki happy then he'd continue to be just friends.

It was so tiring trying to keep up this facade, he couldn't tell who he was anymore as he had seemingly locked his true self inside all the masks he'd been forced to put up, even around his family. Always having expectations thrust upon him, never being able to do something he favored so his Father could keep his airs. He did enjoy detective work and him being able to bring criminals to justice was also good, but he was never able to do what he was once allowed because of this. He understood why his Father feared that if someone were to find out they'd consider him an embarrassment, or something else he didn't understand why it mattered.

He didn't want this, he wished he could do it again...but now he just wanted to fade from all this pressure and confusion. His shoulder slouched as he unconsciously pulled his legs up to his chest, typing the results without thought, his mind growing heavy.

His vision began to blur as the bright light from the computer disappeared into the white snow of a grave yard. He quickly spun around, observing all the stone statues of angels. The melancholy from this scene began to form long lost words from his mind as he gazed at the tomb worn from what must have been hundreds of years, even more, there were no engravings. Just an extravagant tomb.

He had felt something inside him he had not felt for years, a painful tug on his chest-he wanted to…sing the words spiraling around him. Lips red from the cold opened, a deep breath filling his lungs as an image of L appeared in his mind, oh how he wished he could always be somewhere near…but that would never be.

_You were once my one companion, you were all that mattered…_

_You were once a friend and father then my world was shattered ._

L, Father, Kira…

_Wishing you were somehow here again, wishing you were somehow near…_

L…he'd never be near me…

_Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed, somehow you would be here…_

But you never will.

_Wishing I could hear your voice again, knowing that I never would._

I never will.

_Dreaming of you won't help me to do all that you dreamed I could._

But of course, I'll have to do what Father wants even if I dream.

_Passing bells and sculpted angels, cold and monumental, seem for you the wrong companions; you were warm and gentle…_

Father _is_ warm and gentle, just not to me anymore.

Pausing as the bells chimed, he slowly sat down at the base of the steps letting the cold snow cover him in shining jewels. Another breath and he continued. His thought's ringing out along with his voice.

_Too many years fighting back tears, why can't the past just die?_

Why can't it?

_Wishing you were somehow here again, knowing we must say goodbye._

_Try to forgive, teach me to live, give me the strength to try!_

Please L!

_No more memories, no more silent tears! No more gazing across the wasted years._

_Help me say goodbye…_

_Help me say goodbye…_

'I just…I just want…' Light couldn't complete himself, his heart longed for something but he could not name it. A new pain began crushing his heart, he felt so...

**Wandering child so lost, so helpless Yearning for my guidance.**

Light looked up as the new voice was heard. It was so comforting, soothing, hypnotic. He sung back, curious as to who it was.

_Angel or Father? Friend or Phantom? Who is it there staring?_

**Have you forgotten your angel..?**

'Angel...? I know you...Please help me!' his entire being practically screamed.**  
**

_Angel oh, speak What endless longings, Echo in this whisper!_

**Too long you have wandered in winter, Far from my fathering gaze…**

He paused a fraction of a second to wonder, it all sounded so familiar, this conversation in song. He sung out once again.

_Wildly my heart beats against you…_

**You resist-**

the voice answered as he sang with him.

**Yet your/my soul obeys…**

**Angel of music!**

**I/you denied you/me**

**Turning from true beauty…**

Now the answers were overlapping but Light could only hear the mysterious voice.

**Do not shun me…Come to me, your strange angel.**

The tone changed as the man continued

**I am your Angel of Music…**

Nodding, Light shivered, the voice was melodiously powerful, it felt as though it were pulling at his very being to enter the tomb. Walking slowly up the steps the stone door slid open as the inside glowed a frightening crimson.

**Come to me, Angel of Music…**

Such a sweet seduction the mans voice was, Light could not resist. He reached a trembling hand towards the bloody light, so close…

"_Light-kun…Light-kun!"_

The snowy scenery shattered as Light fell to the floor. Blinking he looked around, he saw the gray ceiling, computers, the task force, and L.

Tilting his head in confusion he asked most intelligently "Wha?" It took him a bit to realize that what he had been seeing was not real and that he was looking like an idiot and causing suspicion. A dull pain on his cheek, rubbing at it slightly he stood up.

"Light-kun was very distracted and was not responding to my calls so I kicked him." He looked into the detectives eyes and saw a very small trace of…worry? Shaking his head his fist flew forward and Ryuuzaki's legs flew up, but before anything happened Light stopped his fist right in the center of the pale man's face. All movement stopped as he slowly moved his fist up to his forehead and…flicked Ryuuzaki with a surprisingly loud thwack.

Said person's eyes widened slightly, lowering his leg. "Ouch" was all he said. As Light made another one of his fake smiles "Sorry L, I was just tired so there's no need to wo-stop working." He quickly covered. He didn't want L to know he thought he was worrying about him, because, after all, that's just impossible.

Thumb on those pale lips Light so desperately wanted L announced after a moment "Today and tomorrow will be break days, you need not come as it seems you all are exhausted."

Mocha eyes widened slightly as relief breezed through him, but he also new that this meant L wanted something, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to answer. The other officers hurriedly left the room, including Light's father who spared only a glance at his son.

Soon, the room was empty leaving the two alone. A tug on the chain had Light being dragged by Ryuuzaki as they made their way to the room shared between them. Once inside Light wasted no time in shedding his pants as he climbed into bed, waiting for L to get on the other side.

More added weight shifted the bed as Light slowly began to close his eyes, desperately trying to relax.

The tell-tale clacks of the laptops keyboard calmed young detective enough to mindlessly cuddle closer to his peer, curling around him as he pulled his knees to his stomach in a way to protect him from the nightmares to come. Light thought about what would have happened had he gone inside the tomb, he knew now that that place was somewhere his mind had created, filled with memories, a graveyard for them. He shuddered at the thought that he could have been consumed by that red light, but he still wondered what would have happened if he had. Would the pain have gone? Would he fade from this existence?

But, who was calling to him? It was so...sinful, that voice which had sang to him. He wanted to find it again but his fear was evident. He was not yet ready for anything drastic. Now, more grateful than ever for the panda bear-like man's presence, even with the heartache he murmured without thought "Thank you, Mr. Panda bear…"

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**L's Pov  
**

Light was an enigma, an unsolvable puzzle that L was determined to unravel. Light didn't seem like he could be Kira at all, especially after the fifty day confinement. L had never really suspected Light of being Kira, his eyes didn't hold the darkness a murderer would have, but the evidence was astounding, pointing to Light almost every time though it had to be impossible. But, he had been fooled once, just once so he could not let his guard down. Light being of an IQ rivaling his own he could easily hide any hints to his true nature. The fact that Light was able to change his persona so easily was proof of that.

Ever since the time L had Light be free for the night, he had changed, unseen to most but his trained eye and experience of watching the boy told him different. His men who he had follow Light said they had lost him for about two hours and when they finally found him he was laying on a bench in a nearby park.

When they had returned they examined Light's body in case something had happened-but nothing was found. The look in Light's eyes now was unreadable which was unnerving for the detective, those milky chocolate eyes of his had darkened to the color of bitter black coffee. Blech.

He was becoming even more worried by Light's recent actions, not even caring to look in the mirror or wear all of his clothes. The way Light had awoken that one time was even more cause more that foreign feeling, the way he had curled into a ball after having awoken from a nightmare. A sick heavy feeling radiating off him in waves, he realized that accusing him of being Kira had been the wrong action. Even more, Light's reaction to it was...strangely disappointing. He was so used to a vehement comeback that he was not aware Light might actually take so much offense that he wouldn't even fight back.

That's not something Kira would do...now it was eight percent possible instead of the ten percent that Light was Kira.

The event in the task room was the most alarming though, no matter how many times L had called to Light he hadn't even twitched as though he were in a trance created by his own mind. He had finally kicked Light out of his chair, which snapped him out of his trance, but his eyes were beginning to clear as he was brought back to the real world. L had quickly explained the situation in a way which he new would aggravate Light. He was slightly happy when he saw him lunge forward, fist aiming straight for his face, he drew his leg up quickly anticipating the blow. But stopped when Light stopped, L remained still trying to understand what he was doing. A slight pain on his forehead answered his query.

"Ouch" was all he could think of, surprised by the act of non-violence. Looking at those expressive eyes he saw weariness and a slight waver in Light's stance. That's it, he needed a break, he would not have these kind of distractions during work hours. As he announced the two day break he saw the relief along with a low cheer from the officers.

L realized that Light was even more exhausted than he seemed, falling into bed without properly changing. Yet he was still polite enough to let him climb in and get his laptop to continue his work. Heat gathered around his side as Light curled into him but he did not stop typing.

"Thank you, Mr. Panda Bear." Came a soft childish murmur that froze him to the spot. That was...unexpected. 'Light's condition is worse than I thought' came the daunting realization. What was he being thanked for? He'd have to ask Light-kun tomorrow he supposed.

But, he could wait...after all, it was only another nine hours before he woke.

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**This is my very first Death Note fanfiction and I want to make it perfect because the characters are so complex. So I apologize beforehand if it takes me awhile to get another chapter. I know Light is a bit OOC, and that him singing must be something new. But I've always believed that Light had suppressed and forgotten his real self which could be anything. I just wanted to show a more soft side to him, since if he wasn't Kira and had a slightly different unseen childhood would change him. The song he was singing was "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" and the part with the unknown voice was "Wandering Child" you can find them both on youtube. I'll be using more songs from Phantom of the Opera because I believe it fits his...Predicament. Until then...**

** -LxLight  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Second chapter up, none of the songs belong to me, and I do NOT own Death Note.**

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_It was dark and cold, he recognized this place-it was the cell he was in for confinement. He could see L opening the door to give him food, strange, he usually sent Watari or Matsuda._

_"Eat" Came the monotone voice. He nodded slightly and bent down to eat, still wondering why the great detective himself had come._

_"Why are you still here L?" He asked when he had finished._

_"I wanted to see Light-kun in person." His heart skipped a beat, did he mean…? He'd risk it-he had to know!_

_Lurching forward he planted a firm kiss on L's lips-and L kissed back. It was fierce and he was pushed onto his back as the older man hovered above him, pulling up his shirt. Easily pleasuring his rosy nipples with a skilled tongue as he pulled down Light's pants. Two fingers were pushed inside retracting slightly when they curved upward, hitting that special spot._

_A loud cry and L was now sheathed inside of him, a fast pleasure burned through his veins, but, as quickly as it had started it ended with L pulling out as his business was done and wiping Light off with his shirt._

_He turned to leave "Wait!" Light cried out "Do you..Do you like me?" He had to know._

_A pause "Light-kun is Kira, How could I ever like scum as low as that?" The weight of those words hit him like a steel wall, cold and unforgiving, as the rest of the world was._

_The door closed with a hollow clang as Light was swallowed by darkness._

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"N-!" Light flew up just barely stifling a scream. That dream had been different from the rest, L had actually touched him unlike the other dreams where he was just rejected harshly. This dream was a lot worse because L had exploited his feelings and called him scum like his Father had said he would be if he didn't do as was told. For the first time…he was beginning to believe it was true, just a little.

"It seems Light-kun was having another bad dream…Care to tell me what it was about?" Light flinched a bit at the sound of L's voice and erratically shook his head, shifting the covers around he turned to face L who was sitting precariously closer than normal to him on the double bed.

"I will wait until Light-kun is ready then, In the mean time…" Light just stared at those black eyes, waiting for him to continue. "What was Light-kun thanking me for yesterday?" Light tilted his head in confusion as L put a thumb to his lips.

"And do I really look like a Panda Bear, Light-kun?"

"…What the hell are you talking about L?" The person in question merely shrugged his shoulders.

"Last night as Light-kun was falling asleep he said 'Thank you, Mr. Panda Bear.' I'm just wondering what you mean by that." Light slouched a bit, trying to remember when it hit him. He _did_ say that in the heat of the moment. He couldn't repress a small blush at the embarrassment of slipping up like this. "I was thanking you for giving us a break from the Kira investigation." He lied smoothly, though the next part was true and he was sure he wasn't the only one who thought so "The bags under your eyes and the way you slouch really makes you look like a panda, L"

"…I see." L accepted the answer he got, though he knew it wasn't the whole truth. "What would Light-kun like to do today?" another pause "Can we play tennis?" A nod and they were in the buildings massive tennis court, stretching for the inevitable war ahead.

"Ready?" A nod from the slouched panda and Light served with all his might.

* * *

"I win, L" Light said panting. After all the times he had been close to winning he had finally done it. He grinned in triumph as L let a small smile of his own in congratulations. Light felt a small blip of happiness inside of him at the sight, L was adorable.

**Brava, Brava, Bravare!**

Light froze, it was that voice again. Where was it coming from? Eyes darting around frantically he listened. But the voice was gone…for now.

"Light-kun is tense, is he alright?" Wide mocha eyes turned to look one last time around the court, finally settling on L. "Yeah, I just thought I heard something." L cocked his head to the side but didn't question him, he'd do that later when he was being more open. "I suggest we shower now, Light-kun." Light nodded, suppressing a blush as the handcuffs were placed back snugly on his wrist.

Light slowly entered the shower having convinced L that there was no need to go with him. There were cameras all over the place anyway so he could just watch from there if he thought he was up to something.

Which is exactly what L was doing.

Sitting on the bed with his trusty laptop he watched Light undress revealing his goddess like body. He was more like a goddess in L's mind because of his slightly feminine features such as the gentle curve in his hips or the smooth, delicious looking, lightly tanned skin that glowed with life.

L chose not to watch the rest, wanting to give Light a _bit_ of privacy. So he closed the screen but kept the sound on, listening in case Light said something of importance. A small humming could be heard, a light almost happy tune. Which abruptly stopped as it seemed the shower was done. Shutting the laptop down completely L made his way to the bathroom.

Steam flowed out as Light stepped through the door fully dressed albeit a little damp, nodding to L he walked over to the bed where L handcuffed him to the bed stand. He was still able to stand so he didn't complain. Light watched L shuffle into the bathroom. The sound of running water slowly echoed out, relaxing the stressed suspect.

But it was not to last, for the same voice from before flowed from nowhere. He could just barely hear the words this time as the sound of water seemed to be combating the hypnotic voice. Light sang back, wanting to hear that voice again, though he sang it in a whisper.

_Angel of music speak, I listen, stay by my side, guide me._

This voice could help him find his way again, he didn't like the feeling of being lost.

_Angel my soul was weak, forgive me, enter at last Master…_ He felt indebted to this voice for some reason, he wanted to be freed from his confusion and Light knew that this voice could do it.

**Flattering child you shall know me, see why in shadow I hide.**

**Look at your face in the mirror, I am there inside!**

Light turned his head, searching for the mirror of which he spoke, and found it embedded in the wall right next to him.

**I am your Angel of Music…**

He slowly reached toward the mirror, the reflection of himself was calling to him with red eyes ablaze.

**Come to me Angel of Music…**

Only a hair's breath away from meeting his Angel… His fingers touched the cold glass and his surrounding melted in a long stone corridor, his red-eyed counterpart grasping his hand as he was led down the steps. He finally knew his Angel, able to touch and see him and he wanted to voice this. Musing about the time leading up to this. Little did he know that he also spoke of the near future.

_In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came…_

_That voice which calls to me, and speaks my name._

_And do I dream again? For now I find….The Phantom of the Opera is there, inside my mind…_

Light didn't know why he had said opera, but the songs that had come to mind before hand where very much like opera, that and it seemed like this was the only way to describe what his phantom was. He was the Phantom of Light's opera.

A devilish grin from the Phantom as he sang a command.

**Sing once again with me, our strange duet…**

**My power over you, grows stronger yet.**

Light turned to look back, thinking of L, to which the man frowned slightly wrapping his arm around Light.

**And though you turn from me, to glance behind…The Phantom of the Opera is there, inside your mind.**

Light couldn't help but be captivated by his words, he too, wanted to sing with his Phantom. L began to fade from his mind.

Reaching up to caress the Phantoms face, Light continue as he stare into those dark, red eyes.

_Those who have seen your face, draw back in fear._

_I am the mask you where, _**It's me they hear.**

Those words were the dark future for Light. Singing together now their voices danced.

_**My spirit and my voice, in one combined…The Phantom of the Opera is there, Inside your/my mind…**_

Now they were floating in a boat filled with candles as Light's Phantom steered through the narrow chamber. The Phantom continued.

**In all your fantasies, you always knew.**

**That man and mystery…** _Are both in you…_

Light completed. Their voices joined in another passionate dance as Light was lead into darkness.

_**And in this labyrinth, where night is blind…The Phantom of the Opera is there, inside your/my mind…**_

Light had fallen prey to Darkness.

**Sing for me, my Angel of Music!**

Light obeyed the command. Clear notes rising higher and higher still at the Phantoms command until he finally cried out. Cold lips met with his and he was unwillingly freed from his Phantom's caress as he was knocked onto the bed.

Unlike the first time Light was able to compose himself quite quickly as he yelled "What the hell was that for!"

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**L's Pov**

L was now very concerned for Light, when he came out of the bathroom he was just standing by the bed staring at the wall, whispering something he couldn't hear. It was almost like he was talking to someone. But that wasn't the scary part, Light's eyes were completely glazed over and were turning a slight red as darkness seemed to spread around his irises. He had called out to Light many times but he had no reaction so he resolved to kick him on to bed. Which worked, again.

"Light-kun, you've been very distracted lately, would you enlighten me as to why this is?"

"I'm just tired" Came the weak reply, it was an obvious lie. "If you were truly tired then you would have gone to sleep instead of having a staring contest with the wall." L retorted. He was getting annoyed at these weak attempts of covering up, something was wrong and he was going to find out.

"The chances that Light-kun is Kira have gone up two percent, there is now a ten percent chance that Light-kun is Kira." L said slowly.

Light looked at him in shock "Why! What did I do?" Unlocking the cuff chaining the bedpost to Light he quickly locked it back onto his own wrist. "Because Light-kun refuses to tell me the truth about his recent behavior I can only assume that he is trying to slow our progress. A very Kira like thing to do."

Light sputtered indignantly, but he didn't throw the punch L had anticipated. In it's stead was a bitter smile, eyes dark with emotion.

" Guess that's reasonable." Was all that came.

"I'm not lying though" Light added

"I really am tired, just not from fatigue, it's the life I live that I'm tired of, it's the people I'm tired of." The weariness in his voice was clear.

"Light-kun, I assure you that suicide is not the answer." Those expressive eyes widened again and a harsh laugh sounded through out the room. It was so cold and empty that L almost flinched. Almost.

"I'm not stupid L, I thought we established that." An exasperated sigh.

"It's not _my_ life I'm tired of, it's everyone else's and how they always seem to interfere with mine. It's _annoying." _L paused thoughtfully Light's words making too much sense. "...How do the lives of others interfere with Light-kuns life?" L asked.

"I can't tell you, it'd only get worse."

"What does Light-kun mean?"

"I mean that you would try do to something." Light answered

"I am getting tired of asking questions Light-kun" L said around his thumb.

"And I am getting tired of giving you answers."

"Those weren't answers Light-kun." L was getting a little angry. "They're vague and it's unproductive. I suggest you make your next words carefully."

"I'm fine on my own, it's been like this since before I had even been born."

That was not what L had wanted to hear. L launched forward, pinning Light to the bed with his legs and arms. "Stop! What are you doing!" L's only response to this was tightening his grip, making Light flinch. "I want you to tell me the truth Light." He flinched at the way L said his name, without any honorific and the angry curve to the 'L'.

"Why do you care so much? Shouldn't you be happy that the percentage went up?" Silence.

"What? I'm right aren't I? You _want_ me to be Kira! Well if you _hate _m-"

"YOU'RE WRONG!" Light quickly shut his mouth, surprised by this sudden outburst. He'd never seen the famous detective get angry before, and it was...scary. Onyx eyes practically smoldering in what looked to be rage.

"Light-kun is being unreasonable, his recent behavior has given me good reason to be worried." Light's eyes widened.

"You're worried...about me?" Had he heard right? Even L seemed slightly shocked by his loss of control as his grip loosened around Light's wrists, allowing the blood to flow back into his hands. "Yes, Light-kun, I am worried." Light slowly sat up as he was freed, trying to process this information. L was worried about him. That meant that L cared about him. Right?

"But..._why_?" Did L care about Light the way Light felt about L?

" Light-kun is the only friend I've ever had and he's very important to me because of this." Light's heart sunk a bit at this, but he was happy he wasn't despised. As he had said before, as long as L was happy with this his feelings didn't matter. They never did anyway.

"I see. What did you want to know? I'll only answer one question." A sliver of disappointment could be heard within the guarded response he gave. He shifted on the bed, trying to get comfortable while waiting for L to ask his question.

"That is impossible Light-kun."

"How?" What was he getting at?

"There are too many questions I want to ask Light-kun and one answer always leads to another question. So I will think about what I want to ask, no matter how long it takes." So that's what he meant, well, that was a load off Light's shoulders-for now. But that meant that he'd constantly be living in something akin to fear as he waited for L to ask his question, it could be anything at anytime. Dammit.

"Now I suggest we go to bed if Light-kun does not wish to be tired tomorrow." Light nodded and he slid under the covers. He waited a bit, staring at L who now had that annoying laptop again, typing away.

Light shifted, he really didn't want to go to sleep without L.

"L?" He began slowly. He would swallow his pride just once. A nod of acknowledgment and Light continued. "Do you think you could sleep _with _me tonight?" The clacking stopped as L turned to face Light, curiosity shining in his features.

"Please? You need to sleep anyway-I counted!" Light internally winced at the sound of his voice. He sounded like a child pleading to sleep with his parents after having some ridiculous nightmare-but his nightmares were real so that didn't count. Now he was excusing himself from his actions, how pathetic. He could only hope L didn't think so.

L didn't think so at all, quite the contrary really. He thought it was cute and it showed him that Light liked him enough to swallow his pride. L had begun to ignore his increasing thoughts on the fascinating boy next to him, he had always believed himself to be asexual and since Light was the only person on his level it was only right that he felt attracted to him. Anyway, he decided it _was_ time for him to sleep. After all it'd been two weeks-he hadn't expected Light to keep track of that, which was very endearing in his mind.

"Very well Light-kun." He nearly smiled at the way his face lit up. Setting the laptop down he too slid under the covers as Light scooted closer to him. Though not touching.

Light didn't protest when L wrapped his arms around him. He really enjoyed the feeling, he felt completely safe.

It was so _warm_...

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**Okay chapter two now up! What do you think so far? No flames please. I've been trying my hardest since I really think that L and Light are very special characters that take a lot to understand.  
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	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three. I own nothing. The song is from vocaloid(?).**

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When L awoke, he found it almost unbearably hot. He realized that it was Light, who had somehow latched onto him somewhere in the night. Shifting a bit Light's arms immediately wrapped around him in an attempt to keep him there. Cute. Snuggling back into the covers he returned the embrace, hearing Light sigh with relief L made the sudden decision to watch the sleeping boy. Since he could not fall back to sleep.

At a glance one would be blinded by the boy's stunning look, but on a closer inspection L could see the darkening around his eyes like he hadn't been getting enough sleep. His face was slightly strained but he did not seem to be troubled. L's eyes widened in shock as a thin trail of tears began to leak out of Light's closed eyes. Incomprehensible whimpering and struggling had L straining to calm the boy, but it was to no avail, all he could do was tighten his slacked embrace.

"Please don't leave! I'M SORRY!" his face fell blank, all sign of the previous happenings gone save for the wetness on his cheeks. L was completely bewildered. The young detective had sounded so desperate, so unlike him. Why was Light apologizing? Who didn't he want to leave? Why was he so worried about him?

These kinds of questions floated around in his head, giving him something to do while he waited for sunrise.

Light sluggishly opened his eyes, senses slowly kicking in as he realized L and him were practically spooning. With this realization he could not hold the blush coming to his cheeks. L was so close-

"It's time for work Light-kun, we are already late." A jolt from the sudden voice had him flying out of bed with L in tow. Throwing on his clothes while patiently waiting for L to reconnect the handcuffs he glanced at the insomniac before him, a flash of their earlier position had another blush rise to his face as he remembered how warm he was… No! It'd never work out he was just hoping for something he knew he couldn't get! These thoughts flew around in his head causing him more distress then it was worth.

Hurrying down to the task force he tried to block out the nightmare he'd had. It was so realistic-but it was just a dream, he _would_ be fine. Opening the door he immediately apologized.

"Sorry we're late, I overslept."

Shrugs from the from most of the men save his Father who gave a disappointed glance before he continued his work. That kinda stung, his Father didn't have to ignore him like this_. He should he proud that I'm helping L with this case! _Light thought angrily. _You're only here because L thinks your Kira, why should he be proud? _Came the sardonic reply. Inwardly, he sighed.

Yes, that must be the reason why his Father was unhappy-but he wasn't Kira! Or at least, he _hadn't_ been Kira. Putting himself on auto pilot he began to wonder about why Kira hadn't done anything with him yet, he thought that maybe he'd hear a voice or something.

Wait…could his Angel be Kira? But if he was then why would he sing with him? Why would he…_kiss _him? That couldn't be Kira, it didn't make sense that a mass murderer could hold such affection, unless… there was a motive behind it. But what could that be? He began humming the song that he had last done with his angel, trying to clear his confusion. He unconsciously got louder when he could not clear the cloud of doubt that had formed.

L sat in his same crouched position, typing away as he too put himself on auto pilot. He was trying to figure out what was wrong with Light. But he couldn't think of anything that might've happened to cause his behavior. It wasn't like it was anything threatening or alarming, except for the frequent nightmares Light had been having. The last one seemed to be the worst yet-actually calling out in his sleep.

The tears, though, were what unnerved him the most, he'd seen many people cry before from whatever tragedies had befallen them and he was quite used to it, but with Light it was completely different-he wasn't even awake when he broke down.

A soothing sound freed L from his troubled thoughts. Turning to find where the sound came from he found it was Light humming. That'd never happened before either, though it wasn't unpleasant. It was nice actually, and it seemed the rest of the task force enjoyed it too.

"Light, stop that. It's distracting and annoying." Light immediately stopped.

Well _that _was interesting, Yagami-san doesn't like Light's humming. L sighed lightly at the loss of the boy's humming. It was such a beautiful tune too. Looking over at Light one last time he saw that his posture was very, very stiff. Almost as if he was made out of glass, he twitched slightly, eyes sad. Frowning a bit L went back to work. He wanted to ask Light what was wrong but they were already behind on work and he didn't want the task force to hear their conversation.

Especially Yagami-san.

"Liiiiiight! Your Misa Misa came to see you!" A shrill voice cried. The task force turned to see the girl now tackling Light, the same thing going through their heads asking "How the hell did she get past security?"

Light's head was reeling from the impact as Misa grinned smugly at him. He couldn't help but give her a small smile back.

Whispering to him she asked "How's life with L?"

Blushing a bit he answered "Fine." another grin from the blonde "I want details! But first, what's meany daddy been doing?"

That question made him grimace telling Misa what she wanted to know. "I'll make you feel better! I got you a present!"

Standing up she reached into the bag she'd dropped and pulled out a surprisingly large wrapped box, complete with a bright black bow. Raising an eyebrow Light sat up and slowly unwrapped the surprise.

"It's an Ipod! And a plug in so you can charge it while listening to music that everyone one can hear with you!" That did sound nice, he'd been getting bored lately.

Scrolling down the play lists he noted that Misa had already put music on it. He'd have to check later.

"Thanks Misa, I'm really happy." He was telling the truth, and Misa smiled knowingly albeit sadistically. _She must be planning something_. Was the thought that came to mind. "Okay! Misa Misa will see you later!" whispering again she said "I want a full report on your progress with L! I'll help if I can." Light smirked, he was lucky to have Misa.

You see, despite what everyone might think, Misa is not Light's girlfriend. She's more like his…closest friend whom he's told nearly everything to, including the stuff about L and his Father. At first they had been dating, but when Light realized his feelings for one world famous detective, he felt that he didn't want to lead Misa on. So he told her the truth, and instead of being angry she grinned like she'd known all along. She said that she was a major fujoshi, and that she'd help in anyway she could. She also comforted him when his Father was being an ass, and she new about the singing thing so he could almost relax around her. All in all she was a really awesome girl.

When L announced that the day was over Light practically dragged L into the bedroom, immediately plugging in the charger as he placed the Ipod on the slot. Scrolling down he picked a song that sounded interesting.

"What is Light-kun doing?" L asked.

"I'm listening to what Misa gave me." was his reply. The sharp tune of a violin came first, but what came next was something…indescribable.

_Shining in your eyes, I see the lust you hide from across, this cold and barren room…_

_I will hide my fear, I'll never shed my tears, if I did, I'd just be giving in…_

"Interesting lyrics." was all L said. Light nodded.

_I feel the heat, and I see the fire, this drug is strong as are your desires…_

"He's not talking about what I think he is…is he?" Light looked at L who seemed to have deducted the same thing.

"_Hear my breath, as I am undressed, and your lips meet with mine~!_

Light stared in shock, his face began heating up. But despite his dismay, he could not move to stop the sing, seemingly frozen in shock. The song continued in that sweet boyish voice.

_Any pervert that you ever come across, you'll see, could choose you to be the one._

_The banana continues to be pushed in, and yet, the pain has only begun._

"Light-kun, are you all right?" L's voice snapped Light out of whatever trance he'd been in and he dove towards that Ipod stopping the song and anymore embarrassment that would come from it.

"I'm never eating a banana again…" He groaned. That Misa! What other songs could be on there like that one? She'd planned this!

"That was a very strange song, Light-kun." Well, _that _was an understatement.

"I would like to hear the rest of it, if Light-kun doesn't mind."

Light just stared in shock, which L purposely mistook to be consent. Pressing the play button, he listen intently as Light sat down on the bed, trying to control his blush. L was playing with him, he knew it bothered him so he wanted to hear more! Ah! He smirked! Light almost growled, L knew Light knew that he was just screwing with him. Bastard.

_You say only lies, but I have realized, that your words, cause unrelentless__ pain._

Huh, that sounded like L, so did that make L the pervert the song was talking about?

_I wish that I had knew, the place on me that you, would attack, it's driving me insane…_

_Once again I, am in his embrace, trying to run, from this scary place._

Did that make him the one that was being molested! Oh god.

_Hear my voice, and you will rejoice, my screams get louder once more~!_

"Okay, that's enough!" Light ripped the cord out of the outlet, face now burning with embarrassment with the image that L was a molester...and _he_ was the molested. _You know you want it..._ Shut up! He was really starting to hate his conscience, if that was his conscience.

"Have you had your _fun_, L?" A mere nod was his only reply. Light flopped onto the bed without another thought, now tired from today. He wiggled out of his shirt and slacks as he crawled under the covers, closing his eyes.

"Goodnight, L" The bed shifted under the added weight as L climbed onto the bed, the chain now slackening with a small clink. Again he couldn't help but snuggle close to L, it'd become another one of his safety methods so he could relax enough to sleep. _I guess that means how much I truly need him..._ Was the comforting thought he had before darkness consumed mind.

* * *

_It was dark, and a little chilly and the wind rustled through the trees almost harmonically. He was in a forest, a very lush one at that, complete with a crystal clear stream and thick fog so you could barely see it. Light opted for just sitting by the bank, having nothing else to do. Off in the distance there was the sound of hoofs, galloping across the ground. A horse and his rider. How cliche. Light thought. But that cliche soon turned into a shocked surprise. It was his angel, his double, his Master._

_The black horse slowed to a trot before stopping completely. Light looked up at the slightly more mannish figure above him. A sly smirk and his Angel reached out, beckoning to him with his hand. Light obeyed and allowed his Angel to help him up. Now grasping the man's waist he cuddled in the his Masters back for warmth, noting the smell of spice and...blood? Before he could put two and two together the horse galloped off, shaking his thought's from him._

_They came to a clearing, the moon was full and the silver light illuminated the marble pavilion. Light was swept of his feet as his double carried him to it, setting him down on the bench in the center of open marble walls. All Light could do was stare at those eyes, it was almost dizzying how deep those red eyes were. The Phantom leaned in, trapping Light within his arms, and gently pressed his lips to Light's. In response, Light slung his arms around the mans neck. Obviously pleased by this, his Master deepened the kiss and slowly slid his tongue into Light's awaiting mouth. He couldn't help but moan, his Phantom tasted dark, like a drug-so addicting._

_"**Do you want me?**" Deep and husky, Light shivered. He wanted the devilish man to take him, he wanted it so badly. Inhaling shakily Light saw his doubles face smirk, already sure of his answer before he had given it to him. His angel could help him, be with him and he would be happy..._

_"**YOU'RE WRONG!**" L's voice shouted, echoing throughout the pavilion. Light froze, his memories of the panda flooding back._

_"**Light-kun is being unreasonable, his recent behavior has given me good reason to be worried**." Light's eye widened._

_"**You're worried...about me?**" He couldn't believe it._

_"No! I can't, I can't leave L." His Phantoms face twisted with rage. The moon bled crimson as the pavilion cracked, also stained red. A strong hand gripped roughly at his shoulders, nails cutting into soft flesh. _

_"**No! You already belong to me. I will not let you go!**" Light struggled desperately, trying to free himself-but to no avail. In his horror a biting gust of wind chilled his now naked body. The shreds of fabrics used as binds for his arms and hands Light could only stare in terror as the demon before him lifted his body. The pain was delayed as the shock of what was happening dulled his senses. But when it hit, Light screamed. After that, he could barely register anything but the pain, and unnatural silence as his hoarse pleas filled the air.  
_

_It was so painful, so humiliating, so disgusting. And he could do nothing to stop it._

_"L!" He called out. "L! Please help me!" He wanted L to save him from this nightmare, but no one came-no one could hear him. The searing pain did not ease even as his blood flowed thickly down his thighs, his body only convulsed in fear. All too aware of this the sobs became louder as his chest was torn under this demons claws. He felt so pathetic, and dirty. He's just a tool for people to use. Everyone uses him for their own gain never thinking about him. Never seeing him...It would always be this way. _

_He would always he silenced.  
_

**_!_**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Light flew up flailing and screaming. His arms were pinned to his sides as L's alarmed voice was finally heard. "Light-kun calm down!." Light took a fearful glance at him, searching, this...was the real L, he was right beside him!. He flung himself at L who tensed, but when shaky hands clutched at the man's shirt he relaxed.

Stroking the quaking boy's hair to calm him L slowly murmured. "It's alright Light-kun, I'm right here." Warm arms wrapped themselves around Light's trembling frame, in contrast to the Phantom's cold body L was so very warm. Light calmed his breathing, allowing L's heat to consume him. As the last of his tears slide down his face, he did not let go of the insomniacs shirt, not wanting to let go of his self-perceived lifeline. Forcing himself to relax, he asked the question that had saved him from that demon.

"L..." He began, making sure the detective was listening to him. "Would you be able to continue your life without me?"

A pause.

"I'm not sure, Light-kun. Though I do know that it would be boring without Light-kun around." Light sighed, that didn't answer his question, but he'd leave it at that. At least it meant that L enjoyed his company some what. How much he did not know-but that did not matter. He knew L was avoiding the question with a vague answer for L had himself was not sure. So he would wait, as he had been doing since he first met the strange man. He had done good by rejecting that monster, he could never leave his love alone-that was why he had said no. He didn't want L to miss him or be sad, but what kind of sadness? That was the question.

"Go back to sleep, Light-kun." He shook his head feverishly at this, he did not want to go back to that nightmare he knew would be waiting for him. The next time he went there, the Demon would have him.

Light vowed that he would never sleep again. He would evade his monster for as long as he could, he could not have a moments of rest should he wish to stay himself.

"L, I want to start work early today."

**X**

**X**

**Chapter Three. What do you think? I feel really bad for Light, being violated like that...I hope you continue to read and, if you want, review. The song they were listening to is called Shotarella**, **English version. The best video of it is on Youtube by Razzyness. Only watch if you're okay with never looking at a banana the same way again.**


	4. Chapter 4

**_X_ I own nothing, just the storyline. **

_**X**_

**_X_**

L was put off by Light's sudden change in behavior. The moment L agreed to the brunettes request he nearly lost his hand, the way the boy had flown out of the room like that. His wrist still hurt and there were red marks-practically bruises adorning the now sensitive flesh in an obvious ring.

They had been in the task force center for ten hours, the other officers had already come and gone leaving just him and a newly-turned workaholic. He looked at Light who was furiously typing, eyes riveted to the computers glowing screen. He wondered what brought on this sudden burst of energy-not that he wasn't appreciating Light's work, it was just strange. Light spoke suddenly.

"If I tell you the truth will you turn me in?" What brought this on?

"That all depends on what the truth is, Light-kun." L said slowly.

"I..." _am Kira?_ L completed in his head.

"am not Kira, but Kira is inside me." L tilted his head, voicing his question "What does Light-kun mean by that?"

"I mean that Kira's soul was somehow transferred to me and that he's trying to take over my body." L just stared.

"I believe Light-kun has gone long enough without rest-"

"No! I'm not tired! Just listen to me alright?" Light cut in rudely. Taking a breath he told L his theory. "Remember when I asked to be given a night of freedom?" L nodded. "And when I went missing for two hours?" Another nod.

"I believe that during that time Kira somehow transferred his soul to me. I'm not sure how but that's the only explanation for my dreams." Before L could ask what dreams he'd been having the proclaimed possessed boy continued.

"My Phantom has to be Kira-why else would he try to control my mind? Saying that I am his...Doing _that _to m-" Light broke off before he could finish, paling despite the blush that had settled in on his cheeks. "The last nightmare I had was him trying to take over me, and when I zoned out those times were also him trying to control me."

Staaaaaare...

"Please believe me."

Siiiiilence...

"What I believe Light-kun, is that all the stress has gotten to your head and that I might have to send you to an asylum." Did Light really think the detective would believe such a story?

"Then, I'll ask you again, do you need me here-with you?" Once again a hard silence filled the room. "As I have said before Light-kun, it has not been determined."

Light sat down after that, continuing his work for another five or so hours. A barrier of sorts was formed between them for those hours, not speaking. Just, quiet.

Abruptly, Light stood up, and L was once again dragged back to there room. But only for a moment, Light just grabbed his Ipod and plug-in and dragged L back downstairs. A few more moments and a jazzy blues tune filled the room. A lithe body swayed to the beat, spinning around the teen danced. It seemed Light was relieving his tension. Or he was trying to prove/say something through his actions since words didn't seem to work.

Moving his hips in a sensual fashion a small smile formed on rosy lips. The entire room had a strange atmosphere to it, instead cold and calculating it was warm and filled with romance. The aura circled around Light as he swung his head while the trumpet slid up and down the scale.

_The truth is…we were much too young…_

He slowed as he swerved his body.

_Now I'm lookin for you…for anyone like you…_

Sliding his hands over his body he wrapped his arms around himself in a makeshift embrace, caressing his chest and hips. The chain rattled, glittering around him. His eyes locked on L, his performance was meant for him and only him, the detective realized. Light moved almost as if he was a doll who'd been cut from it's strings, jerky and empty-but it fit the music perfectly.

Light began mouthing the words his face now melancholic, unseeing. He started slowly swishing his now _very_ sexy ass while a slender finger found it's way inside his mouth. L could only tilt his head as he watched this beautifully seductive display, however strange it might have been.

_Now you're lookin for me…for anyone like me…_

When the song gave it's last note Light's eyes cleared as he went to pause his Ipod. He shivered as the cold atmosphere returned to the room and went back to work without having uttered a word. Like he _hadn't_ danced the lust, however small, into L's deep black eyes.

* * *

Light had yet to stop working, it'd been thirteen hours since his little 'Show' and he hadn't even eaten since yesterday. Light was becoming L and that was scary, though he had yet to develop the dark rings under his eyes you could see very faint outlines of them. He still responded when you called him, so that was reassuring enough. Though he was visibly getting annoyed with all the chatting the other task force members were having.

L decided to get back to work too, besides, Kira had been taking a pretty long break after killing a hundred people in one week. This break was giving them time to find him without risking any more lives.

Scratch that, Light's life seemed to be ebbing away, mostly because his Father was being a total ass wipe in L's mind. Whenever Light hummed or lightly voiced a song he'd get told off by that damn Soichirou-san.

The pressure was getting to both of them it seemed, couldn't that guy see how much Light was doing for them? L suppressed another snaky comment when Soichirou snapped at his son.

* * *

"Light-kun, I believe you need a break." L was now very concerned, it'd been five days since the adolescent had slept-or even napped. Whenever L asked he would shake his head almost violently like he feared sleep. L would not take anymore of this, Light had snapped at his dad just an hour ago and he got an undeserved earful for it. The insomniac detective also noted that the tunes Light would hum were getting more and more dark, sad, _painful._ Depression it seemed, which wasn't a surprise considering what his Father kept doing. However, L could not bring himself to pity Light, he was getting tired of his stubborn attitude and he knew that he was going to need sleep soon lest he collapse from exhaustion.

"Light-kun you must stop working."

"No!" L blinked, that was a rather violent reaction. An annoying one too, all the shouting the two Yagami's had caused was grating on his already fraying nerves.

"I request that today be a rest day, we all know Light-kun needs it." A hard glare.

"Rest isn't what I need L." L raised a non-existent eyebrow as he contemplated what Light was talking about. It was silent until all the other members had left, Soichirou leaving with one last glare at Light.

L thought back to the time four days ago, that romantic yet sad song Light had danced to. It was like Light was trying to tell him something-but what could it be? He couldn't have been serious about that story he'd told him...could he?

To L's relief, the young detective stood up and went back to their room heading straight for the kitchen. Soon the smell of eggs, bacon and coffee wafted through the air. Light sat down at the table slowly, and, despite not having eaten for a week, he ate very little solid food. Just more and more coffee.

Light sighed, he felt full even before he had eaten anything, but he was grateful he had taken the time to make coffee. He felt himself slipping into the darkness which was why he stopped so suddenly. He dreaded tomorrow, his father was going to yell at him again-he was having a very hard time not punching him. He had tried to refrain from violence since he'd realized his feelings for the detective, but that didn't mean he couldn't punch his own flesh and blood.

Luckily another sleepless night went by and Light was beginning to panic, he had exhausted every lead they had found ten times over. There was nothing else for him to do-but wait! There was still a possibility. To which he set his entire being on looking for this possibly in the data base, humming to piss off that guy who helped give birth to him over there.

He felt a headache coming on as his father once again bitched him out.

"-Light, I am your Father and I want you to be silent!" Said Father's son was clenching his fists as he tried not to strike him, a feeble attempt at control. Why was it so hard to just let him do something he wanted for a bit? Was he not needed? Was he just another luxury people buy to better their lives? He was just a tool. Well, not anymore.

"Shut up." The room fell silent.

"What?" Came the infuriating reply.

"You heard what I said you bastard, but I'll say it one more time so your microbe sized brain can try-and fail, at comprehending the complexity of what I just said." Light paused for a moment, letting the red of anger creep into his Father's face.

"Shut. Up." Light was knocked to the floor has his Father punched him. He could hardly register L's weight upon him, being pulled onto Light from the force. Throwing L off he made to backhand the man who dared punch his own son.

But his hand was caught by none other than the detective he'd thrown off, stopping all movement. There was a glint in his eyes that told Light he was furious.

"Stop fighting you unintelligible twats." It seemed L was so far gone that he'd slipped back into using English slang, a slight accent could be heard. Gripping Light's wrist even tighter he yelled at him first.

"Light, I demand that you go to bed right now. I don't need your help on this investigation if all you're going to do is be a distraction." The words were cold and truthful, which hurt all the more. The first time L was honest with him is mean and cruel. The great detective truly believed he didn't need him.

_"So that's your answer is it?_" He spoke clearly, despite how unstable he felt. L's grip lessened. He wasn't answering, which meant that Light was right-L did not want nor need his presence.

Light wanted to get away, away from everything, he couldn't stand all this confusion. He wouldn't sleep though, no matter what.

"Light-kun needs to sleep." So he was ignoring the whole thing, he wasn't even worthy enough to be answered.

"**Never!** I'll never rest…" The last part he whispered to himself.

He saw Watari edging towards him with what looked to be a syringe. L was going to drug him, L was going to _force_ him back into that nightmare!

"No! get away from me!" He screamed, jerking wildly at the chain. Which for a moment glittered red, before it shattered with an almost explosive force. Not thinking about anything but to get away, Light ran out of the room, dodging the attempts to stop him with the mad force of desperation.

The deranged boy ran blindly. Turning corners, dashing through hallways, climbing steps the world was suddenly blinding as he burst onto the roof of the police HQ. Quickly shutting the door he ran out to the middle of the massive expanse of concrete. Collapsing on his knees he could feel his will slipping, darkness ebbing in at the edges of his eyes. The harsh words L had thrown at him hurt so much, he was losing his reason. If L didn't need him, then why should he _not_ give in to the Phantom? He had never hurt him as much as L had, despite him violating his body.

"But, I suppose it was his right to, after all, he did own me…"

**And I still do.**

Light smiled at the familiar husky tone, he knew he couldn't go back now. His Phantom was here again, and even if he wanted to escape…he had already past the point of no return. All he needed was his Phantom...

It was his Phantom who sang first, Light listening intently.

**You have come here in pursuit of your deepest urge, in pursuit of that wish, which till now has been silent, silent . . .**

**I have brought you, that our passions may fuse and merge -**

**In your mind you've already succumbed to me dropped all defenses,completely succumbed to me-**

**Now you are here with me:no second thoughts, you've decided,**

**decided . . .**

Yes...I _have decided._ Light whispered.**  
**

**Past the point of no return -no backward glances: our games of make believe are at an end . . .**

**Past all thought of "if" or "when" -**

All Light did was smile faintly at the controlling voice.**  
**

**No use resisting: abandon thought, and let the dream descend . . .**

**What raging fire shall flood the soul?**

Light stretched his neck, baring it to his Phantom, letting him caress his body in a feather light embrace.**  
**

**What rich desire unlocks its door?**

**What sweet seduction lies before us . . .?**

The Phantoms hands were all over him, faintly he felt the cold air brush against his skin. Lips dancing across his chest as his shirt fluttered away in the wind.**  
**

**Past the point of no return, the final threshold -what warm, unspoken secrets will we learn?**

**Beyond the point of no return . . .**

Light sang, voice vibrating the air as he answered his Phantom. Completely succumbing to him. **  
**

_You have brought me to that moment where words run dry, to that moment where speech disappears into silence, silence . . ._

_I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why . . . _

He was slowly realizing why, he wanted-no, _needed_ to be with his Phantom.

Light barely registered the grating from the sound of the metal door opening. He continued._  
_

_In my mind, I've already imagined our bodies entwining defenseless and silent -_

_Now I am here with you: no second thoughts,_

_I've decided, decided . . ._

Yes. It's been decided even before he was born, but oh how he wished to be _touched_ by his Phantom-his Master. Two voices combined in a sweet dark harmony._  
_

_**Past the point of no return -**_

_** no going back now: our passion-play has now, at last,begun . . .**_

Cold lips on his as their duet continued._**  
**_

_**Past all thought of right or wrong - one final question: how long should we two wait, before we're one . . .?**_

_**When will the blood begin to race the sleeping bud burst into bloom? When will the flames, at last, consume us . . .?**_

Cold fingers brushed over his heart, slowly sinking in to the skin. Master and Slave now one._**  
**_

_**Past the point of no return the final threshold -**_

_**the bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn . . . **_

_**We've passed the point of no return . . .**_

He would stay with his Phantom forever...

* * *

**L's Pov**

L didn't run after Light right away when he stormed out. Instead he took his time searching, knowing that leaving the building was impossible. He was rather alarmed at the chain's destruction, it was made out of the strongest titanium yet it'd shattered like glass. The world famous detective was getting frustrated, he'd thought that finding the teen would be easy but he couldn't find any clues and it had been five minutes. Way longer then he thought it would take to find Light.

**You have come here, in pursuit of your deepest urge, in pursuit of that wish, which till now has been silent, silent...**

What was that? The deep voice had come from above he realized as he turned another corner. The elevators were mysteriously broken despite them being state of the art _and_ brand new. Something was up, where was Light?

Cursing as he went up the stairs he heard a new voice.

_You have brought me to that moment where words run dry, to that moment where speech disappears into silence, silence . . ._

That was Light! Kicking the door open L was met with a most disturbing scene.

There, just ten feet away was Light, shirt gone, neck bared, and in an embrace with a barely visible man whom faintly resembled the embraced. L, for the life of him couldn't move a muscle. All he could do was stare at the beautifully tragic picture before him. His eyes widened as Light continued to sing in a voice so sensual and innocent it should have been illegal.

_I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why . . . _

His voice rang throughout the rooftops, mesmerizing_ and so, so _heart achingly sad_._

_In my mind, I've already imagined our bodies entwining defenseless and silent -_

_Now I am here with you: no second thoughts,_

_I've decided, decided . . ._

The man behind Light tightened his grip and L could have sworn he hear a moan come from those parted lips. Ghostly hands brushed up and down a smooth, lightly tanned chest. Occasionally brushing across a rosy nipple_, _L tightened his fists, subconsciously jealous that he wasn't the one to touch the stunning boy in front of him.

_**Past the point of no return -**_

_** no going back now: our passion-play has now, at last,begun . . .**_

The deep voice the jealous man had heard before joined in with Light's pure one, creating a most supernatural contrast between the pure, and the sinful.

_**X**_

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_**So, what do you think? The song is called "Point of No Return" by Andrew Lloyd Weber. I won't be updating for a bit since it seems I haven't updated another one of my stories for a while-so I'll be doing that. It won't tale too long though. But I'm still releasing this chapter early so, who knows. Till then!  
**_


	5. Chapter 5

**I apologize for the wait, but I had warned you. I own nothing.**

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All was still as Light fell to his knees, the haunting lament now over. L rushed towards the fallen man now free from his dazed state of shock.

"Light-kun! Light-kun!" The detective shook his shoulders with a very diluted look of panic on his face. Even in situations such as these the insomniac could control his outwards expressions.

"Mmmm…What do you want?" L opened his mouth but quickly shut it when he saw Lights eyes. They were practically blood red with a few flecks of his former mocha eyes. Was this really Light-kun?

As L continued his inner questioning Light rubbed his eyes and began to walk back to the door yawning all the while. L didn't notice this until the door clanged shut jarring him out of another self induced trance.

By the time he caught up Light was already in his boxers and climbing into bed. Now L wasn't the least bit relieved by this, in fact, it made him even more tense. Light was acting like that thing never happened! By thing he meant whatever the hell he was doing on the roof.

Watching as Light burrowed into the covers L made his way to bed too, grabbing his trusty laptop along the way. Now back in his awkward sitting position Light spoke.

"I can sleep now without having to fear the nightmares, I really must thank you that, Ryuuzaki." L became still. He never realized that Light's nightmares could have been the reason the boy never wanted to sleep. Looking at it that way, it was easy to understand why he was so desperate. Those nightmares had the proud boy weeping while he clutched at L's shirt. Little pangs of guilt made themselves known as L though about how he had acted…

"Although, I can only hope your nightmare will end as soon as it _will begin._" The world renowned detective froze at those icy words, it was like he was being cursed or something. He sounded so sure of himself….

Before L could ask what the teen meant he had already fallen asleep. He wouldn't wake him up either because that body needed rest. Speaking of bodies, that was a most provocative display he'd witnessed. But he couldn't, for reasons unknown to him stand that some other man had been touching Light.

Now that he thought about it, where did that man go? Thinking back he could see the dark silhouette seeping back into that sexy body while Light gave one last heart pounding moan. That meant the man was _inside_ him! But…That wasn't possible-was it? The detective was starting to understand the damage he'd done by not believing in the teen, he might've just released the murderer to prey on the boy's mind. He'd have to see if his deductions were right tomorrow though, hopefully, for the sake of both him and his Light, they were wrong.

* * *

_Light lay comfortably in the arms of his double, once again underneath the pavilion now surrounded with red lotuses. The air was tranquil as the water surrounding the pavilion slowly flowed against marble walls. Light sighed comfortably as he shifted in his Phantoms lap. Deciding that now was as good a time as any, he asked the question that had been nagging at him ever since he met the crimson eyed man._

"_Master…Are you Kira?" There was a definite pause, the teen waiting in anticipation._

"_Yes, I am." All the other questions flooded out in response to this._

"_Why have you killed all those innocent people?"_

"_They were hardly innocent my pet, all had purposely sinned. Tainting this already dirty world you live in."_

"_So…you're trying to purify the world? Save it from humans?"_

"_Exactly." Light couldn't help but agree, Kira made so much sense it was crazy!_

"_What can I do to help?" He blurted. The cool arms around him slid underneath his shirt, grazing heated skin. _

"_You will let me take over your body when I want to, you cannot arouse any more suspicions from that spiteful detective." Light shivered as Kira spoke directly into his ear, hands sliding up his chest. He nodded earnestly, wanting to please his host. A dark chuckle in his ear sent another shiver down his spine._

"_Good…" The delusional teen gasped as those cold fingers brushed over his nipples, teasing. Light wanted to stay but he could feel the land around him fading, as was his Master behind him._

"_Till next time…Light." _

Light's eyes opened slowly, sighing he sat up. This was probably going to be the routine now, meeting only in his dreams-what had he just promised that guy? He had actually asked to be used, what was wrong with him? It was like he was drunk or high whenever he got around…Kira. Turning to his side Light was greeted with huge black eyes. Blinking he asked "What?"

"Nothing Light-kun, I am just relieved to see he has recovered." As the detective said this he caressed Light's face. The teen could feel heat flowing into his cheeks, L was acting kinda weird. Drawing back the crouching male announced that the rest of the weekend was a break.

"I doubt either of us want to have to deal with Light-kun's father at the moment." Light paled as he thought back to yesterday. He'd punched his own father, but the man had started the violence! Either way he'd be the one getting a lecture and some kind of humiliating punishment.

But the problem was right now, L obviously wanted something.

"What are you planning Ryuuzaki?" Tension settled in immediately as he used the detectives alias, but the young genius refused to use the man's name aloud. Only in his mind would he call L, L. For they were obviously not close enough to trust each other, only enough to hurt him. He wasn't even sure if L cared, after all, he hadn't even spared a moment to considered Light's theory about a soul inside him being Kira. The bastard had actually suggested sending him to an _asylum!_

"I want Light-kun to answer my questions." The voice of the man causing all his inner turmoil snapped him back to reality.

"Will Ryuuzaki-kun actually try to believe me?" He ground out, emphasizing the detectives alias with contempt.

Once again his query was met with silence. Lovely. Oh screw it, he might as well be insane if no one believed him.

"What does Ryuuzaki-kun want to know?"

"What was Light-kun doing on top of the roof?"

Light paused, how was he going to explain?

"Well, I guess you could say I was in a trance, like how I zoned out all those times before." L nodded.

"Why was Light-kun singing?" Said singer blushed at that, singing was such an embarrassing thing for a guy.

"I've always loved singing but father said that I had to stop if I didn't want people to look down on me for being such a girl."

"Souichirou-san is prejudiced, is he not?" Light only nodded in response.

"I think Light-kun's voice is very beautiful." The detective declared. Light couldn't help but blush heavily at that. L thought his voice was beautiful!-But that didn't change anything...

"Who was the man touching Light-kun on the roof?" What? L could see Kira? That had to mean that murderer was much stronger than he gave credit for.

"That, as I so desperately tried to convince you before hand was Kira. The second soul inside me."

That irritating silence came back, grating on Light's already frayed nerves.

"I believe Light-kun, Light-kun." Sepia eyes widened, shock evident. Collecting himself he nodded his head, silently saying he could ask more questions.

"Has similar occurrences happened when Light-kun...zoned out?" Light nodded "But it was all in my head, that was the first time it affected me physically." Now that he thought about it, he'd only had those...episodes? when he was thinking about something or was under a lot of stress or something like that.

Light explained this to the detective "But now I see him in my dreams, he's very charismatic-it almost feels like I'm drunk when I'm around him-that or obsessed so I'd do anything and everything for Kira." Light thought back to his 'dream', blushing as he remembered the way Kira held him. He could almost feel those hands run across his chest brushing his-"Has Kira done anything to Light-kun?"

Light's breath caught in his throat, should he tell him? What would he think? Did it even matter what Ryuuzaki felt? Not anymore he told himself.

"Do you want to know what happened in order?" Okay stupid question, might as well get on with it. "He kissed me, he..._touches_ me-" Once again Light found himself under the comfortable weight of the detective, who right now had a very strange look in his eyes.

"What kind of touching?" The teen froze, he didn't want to tell. Even if it was only in his head he had been-he couldn't say it-_sexually assaulted_. This was another thing he didn't understand, if he was so traumatized by it, why did he go all soft and mushy when he was near his attacker? He was broken out of his thoughts as the man above him forced his eyes to meet his.

"What kind of touching Light-kun?" The detectives tone was almost as frightening as his yelling, it was so quiet he could barely hear what he was saying. Was the man above him really that angry?

"I-I..." No, he wouldn't do it...

"TELL ME!" tears pricked at his eyes, he was being so scary-it felt just like Kira. So angry and demanding and forceful and-

"_**NO!**_" using both his feet he pushed all his weight against Ryuuzaki's stomach, throwing him off. Rolling, he dropped to the floor, jumping up and sprinting towards the door, the handcuff's no longer restraining him. He had to get away!-Pain flourished in his head as he met the floor face first, the familiar weight of the detective once again holding him down. Wiggling he found he could barely move, seeing as the panda-like man was straddling his back. He felt prodding down _there_ again! Shrieking he desperately tried to fight off his attacker.

"-stopitstoitstopit-"

"CALM DOWN!"

"PLEASE STOP MASTER!"

* * *

L froze. Master? What was Light talking about? He needed to calm him down now though, and yelling was obviously not helping. It seemed the boy had been assaulted..._sexually_, by the way he reacted when he was touched _there._ It seemed he'd have to try a different tactic.

Leaning down so his lips were directly behind the frightened teens ear he whispered gently. "I'm not going to hurt Light-kun, no one will hurt him."

L was relieved to see this was calming the teen down, it seemed any form of anger would set him off.

"Will Light-kun tell me what happened?" The detective had already guessed what must have happened but he couldn't be for sure until he heard it from him. If he was right though, what would he do?

"K-Kira...r-rap-don't make me say it..." Fresh tears spilled out of those pained eyes. L desperately tried to calm himself. He had been right. When had time allowed this to happen? He remembered the second night when he had to restrain him, he was screaming so profusely in sheer terror. That must have been when, but, if it was a dream, why was it affecting him this much? Gently he asked this and was not happy with the answer.

"It may not have been physical, but it was still r-ra-" L nodded, so it was the very literal meaning of _Mind Rape_, though instead of physical pain it's all mental which is a lot worse. Judging by the way Light reacts to anger in any way, shape, or form is definitely going to cause them both trouble. Especially with that prejudiced dad of his.

Getting up, he pulled the worryingly limp body of Light and walked him over to their bed. Setting him down gently he continued their conversation while rubbing seemingly soothing circles into the troubled boy's back.

"I don't want to..." Came a whisper.

"Don't want to what Light-kun?"

"I just don't want to do anything anymore, every time I close my eyes _he's_ there waiting and I can do nothing!" L let him continue."All I am is a tool! Just like with everyone else, and this time it's of my own free will!" He started shouting. "Every time I get near him it's like I'm under a spell or something, all I want to do is please him no matter the consequences for my own well being. I hate this!"

His shoulders began to shake, bangs covering his eyes. "I'll always be a tool for others gain, I myself have no worth..."

"Light-kun is wrong." L struggled trying to keep from shouting at the shaken boy again, but it was so hard! He wanted to murder the people who had made this beautiful boy suffer. What he was furious about though, was that Light believed those bastards words. There was no way Light was worthless, he's not a tool either. He voiced his thought's strongly to him.

"But you yourself said you had no need for me, I am only here for your convenience." L clenched his fists at his words, his carefully placed mask slipping once again. What had made Light think that L didn't care for him? Light sensing his inner confusion decided to enlighten him.

"When I had that huge fight with Souichiro you told me you didn't want me there if all I was going to be was a distraction." L's already natural wide eyes widened even more._ 'So that's your answer is it?'_ Shit, that wasn't what he meant! But he hadn't answered either so...

"But you know what hurt the most?" Light's voice interrupted his thoughts, he looked up.

"What hurt me the most about that...was that the very first time you were ever truthful with me was cruel and hateful." Oh god, he'd done a lot of stuff in the past that was way worse than this, but right now he felt guilt eating at him. Never before had he felt like this, he wanted it to stop.

"Please forgive me Light-kun, I did not mean it." Light froze "I had wrongly taken my anger out on Light-kun when it was in fact Light-kuns father that had caused that distraction." L wrapped his arms around the teen he had unwittingly wronged so greatly.

Instead of shying away from the touch like L had expected Light returned the embrace with vigor, sobbing into his neck whispering over and over again "Do you really mean that?" L tightened his grip, not confident his words would be able to covey how he felt. Light pulled away slightly so he could see his face "Please don't lie to me anymore, the hope will kill me..."

"I will not lie to Light-kun anymore, and I will do all I can to save him from Kira." With this, L brushed his lips against Light, to which Light froze again. L acted like nothing happened, like it had been an accident. He didn't know what came over him but he'd had the primitive impulse to just do _that._ Light's lips were very soft, however brief the contact was. L looked at Light's face, expecting some kind of violent reaction-but instead he saw the most adorable thing in his life. So far.

Light's face was as red as he'd ever seen it, lips quivering, eyes wide staring directly into his, still clutching at his shirt. He looked like a spooked bunny-_Chocolate_ bunny...yum...L licked the side of the bunny's face, wanting to know if he tasted as good as he looked-or rather chocolate.

"Ry-Ryuuzaki...?" L continued to lick his cheek, finding that the teen did taste like something, but he couldn't put a finger on what that something was. Then it hit him. "Light-kun tastes like Light." L could feel the heat on his tongue as Light blushed deeply. Now he tasted slightly different...Intrigued, L licked the tear trails on his face, and found that they weren't salty-in fact, they tasted like diluted sweetened cranberry juice. Finally moving down to those soft lips, he licked them too, relishing in their velvety feel and apple taste.

So caught up in his taste test, he didn't think twice about thrusting his tongue into Light's lax mouth. There was an explosion of flavors inside, chocolate, strawberry, blueberry, bubblegum, blackberry, pomegranate, cranberry, cake, frosting-every single one of his favorite flavors was now swirling around in his mouth as he rubbed his tongue against Light's. The grip on his shirt tightened and the sweetest sound he'd ever heard came from the back of the wet cavern he was currently exploring.

"Uuu...Mmhn..." There was a pounding on his chest, and he abruptly released Light from his ministrations. Looking at the teen, now gasping for air he realized what he'd done and that he too was was panting. Apparently he'd forgotten the need for air.

"I am sorry Light-kun, I could not stop my curiosity." Light looked at him in confusion.

"Light-kun looked like a chocolate bunny so I had too see if he tasted like one too," Pausing he thought about all the different kinds of flavors Light had.

"Following my instinct to uncover the unknown, I did what I did and found that..." _Although it was more of an impulse of mine..._ He thought in the back of his mind. L looked straight into Light's eyes, locking him in place.

"I found that he tastes like any and every dessert I've ever desired."

_Including Light himself..._

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**So, what does this mean? I have no clue, I think. What's going to happen...Please review if you don't want Kira to make Light suffer and become his slave.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I own nothing. Sorry for the wait.**

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What's happening? Light was shell-shocked. First L puts his tongue down his throat after licking his face, and now he says I taste like everything he'd ever wanted-why's he leaning in?

"R-Ryuuzaki? What are you doing?"

"I want another taste Light-kun." Light blushed again, and cursed himself for doing so. He was acting like a friggin' school girl! He'd never blushed so much in his life! And _crying?_ What the hell! It's like everything he'd bottled in was coming out! That would be bad…

"No thanks, wouldn't want to spoil your dinner." He said regaining his shattered composure . The detective pouted, but backed off.

"So, what should I do?" The heavy atmosphere from before returned as the full weight of Light's well being rested on what was said next.

"I don't believe there is anything we can do as of the moment." Light's heart sunk at this, what was he supposed to do?

"For now I think Light-kun should try to find out where the Death Note is, after that I'm sure we'll be able to do something."

"Okay." He forced out. He didn't want L to know he was scared, he'd already depended on him so much already-and besides, he wasn't that weak. He would handle it.

"Then, good night Ryuuzaki-san." He turned to lay back down, feeling even more distant from the detective than ever before. He'd added the -san to L's alias. That…

Light forced himself to relax, and closed his eyes waiting for Kira to appear once more.

* * *

_Light made his way to the pavilion, not looking back as water blocked the way to shore. There, laying elegantly on the marble bench was Kira, smiling. _

"_I heard you two talking Light." He froze, so he could hear his thoughts?_

"_Almost Light, I can hear what you hear and feel your emotions, that is all I need to know what's happening." Light backed up._

"_Now now, don't run away. You don't have to be afraid." Despite his pleas his body made it's way to Kira, and sat down in the murderer's lap. A cool hand wrapped itself around his waist while the other caressed Light's face._

"_I'll tell you what you want to know, if you do what I ask."_

"_Why would you tell me?" What was Kira thinking…?_

"_Don't you want to know? You'll be useful to your detective if you do." That's right, L needed him to do this. L _needed_ him for something! He couldn't disappoint the detective again._

"_I…alright, what do you want?" Kira's grip tightened around his waist._

"_I want you."_

"_But I'm already here."_

"_I want to feel your body once more." The reaction was immediate, Light tried to run but was caught from behind._

"_No!"_

"_Think of your detective, he'll be disappointed in you." That made him freeze again, he couldn't care about himself if he wanted L to be happy._

"_Fine…" He was brought back down into Kira's lap, shirt already gone, pants sliding down his legs. A dark voice in his ear._

"_Let's begin Light…"_

_Light felt empty, as he got up and waited for Kira to give him his answer._

"_Here, this is what you want right?" The thin black note book came into view and Light slowly took it with trembling hands._

"_You can go back to your detective now, my pet."_

_Once again the scenery faded, but the damage done did not._

"Ryuuzaki…" Light was exhausted, but he held out the note book he had drawn out of his dreams. L only nodded and took it, not even sparing a second glance at the teen. Quickly flipping through the pages he confirmed all the names of the victims, some with gruesome detail of their death. But what was most surprising was the name on the very last page of the note book.

_Light Yagami_

This didn't make any sense, that was the young detectives name so why wasn't he dead? Did Kira not know what his face looked like? Or was Light's name not truly Light? If he hadn't been bewildered by the fact that the teen had pulled that cursed book out of no where, then this shouldn't faze him either, but it did.

"Why is it that Light-kun still lives?" He asked in his usual monotone.

"What do you mean?" Light asked slowly, what was he saying…?

"Light-kun should be dead."

Light froze. The detective wanted him dead? After all that he went through for him? That was why he wanted him to go to Kira? So that murderer would kill him? _I will not lie to Light-kun anymore..._ He hadn't promised, Light realized. He'd just said he would-but he hadn't promised so there was no meaning to his words.

"Why should I be dead." He ground out.

"Because Light-kun's name is in the note book."

"What?" Okay, that-what? So his name was in there but-oh. That makes sense, so L didn't want him dead, maybe. The fact still remained that L hadn't promised anything, he could take back those words any time he wanted to.

"L?" Oh, he used L's name. Well, this'd be the last time then. Seeing as he might as well get this over with, his pain wasn't helping any body least of all the person he cared the most about. Again, if L was really such a genius then figuring out his real name shouldn't be a problem, and Light knew he was avoiding the question by doing this but he was tired of waiting.

"Yes Light-kun." 'Light-kun' realized just how detached that name made him feel, it wasn't the right one.

"I love you."

There was no answer, that damned silence was back again.

"Light-kun is in shock-"

"Don't avoid this L!" Now he was angry, did the detective really think he could avoid this?

"Accept or reject me, make me or break me. I don't care what the answer is as long as it's definite!." Light panted a bit, slowing down from his outburst.

"Do you like me? Or not? Answer. Me."

"I cannot." Oh, that _hurt._

"So I'm not worthy enough to even be rejected? Am I that revolting?"

"What is Li-"

"I have Kira inside me! Why do you think? Even I'm disgusted by this! I was so weak to allow something of this caliber to take over." Well, he still had his answer. L did not love him, hell he didn't even acknowledge him. Heh, how pathetically humorous.

L had not yet spoken, being rendered speechless by this sudden insight into Light's closed mind.

"Everything I've done I've done for _you."_ Light's words rang out through the silence. "Don't you dare think my feelings are false."

Still no answer.

"Fine, I see, I don't want to be near you either right now." With that Light merely turned his back and closed his eyes, sleep immediately taking over him. Mind in it's own place.

* * *

_Light was back at the pavilion, but he was alone. No Kira there. So Light called out to him. The murderer appeared._

_"Happy with your results?" Light just glared at him, knowing full well he knew the answer to that. _

_"I guess not."_

_"I'm going to stay here." Kira raised an eye brow. "Oh?"_

_"I don't want to deal with L right now." Now Kira smirked. "Do you want to play a little game then...? Make L...Jealous?" Light only snorted. "He wouldn't get jealous."_

_"Oh, you're wrong about that, remember?"_

_**What kind of touching Light?**_

_L was jealous?_

_"I-I still don't believe you." Kira came closer, once again caressing his face. "Then let me prove it to you."_

_"Why the hell do you care? Isn't this what you want?"_

_"Not quite, there's still some things I have that need to be done..." The way Kira looked at him when he said that made it obvious what he was talking about. But Light just couldn't give a damn, and besides, L had no right to be angry with him-if he was angered by what happened next.  
_

_"Fine." With that Kira sealed his lips with his own. "L will see all of this..." Light wanted to know what Kira meant but he could barely think as pleasure overthrew his logical mind. __  
_

_

* * *

_L was still in partial shock, Light loved him. Though he should have seen the signs, that fact that Light trusted him so much was one of them.

He'd loved him for a long time it seemed. And he'd just sat there, letting Light get hurt by him again, not believing in him again. But he couldn't answer Light, he had no idea how he felt, not anymore. L knew though, that his feelings for the teen were deeper than friendship-but how deep were they then?

"Mmmm..." L looked over at light who seemed to be having trouble breathing. Another body formed around Light's and L recognized it to be the man he'd seen on the roof with Light. Kira. Light was on his knees now, but his eyes were still closed, he was dreaming. L realized that Light was still in his boxers, how he had not seen this, he did not know. But he'd wished he'd noticed it so Light would be wearing a shirt, as see-through hands glided across those pink nubs once again.

"Uuuu..." Light mewled under the touch. L tightened his fists when he saw Kira's other hand slide down to to the growing bulge in Light's boxers, applying pressure, slowly rubbing. It was only until he slipped his hand inside that L took action, but nothing he did could stop it. He couldn't touch Kira, and Light wouldn't wake up, so he was forced to watch this display. L's feelings were now answered, he also liked Light, enough that he didn't want any one but him touching him.

"huuu..-ah!"

The shadow was whispering something into Light's ear that made him shiver. Slowly, his head turned, eyes sliding open. His eyes were blurry, as he stared right at L, swirling with emotion clouded by lust and pain.

"Light-kun!" L tried calling out to the teen but he did not react, only letting out another moan as Kira's hand quickened it's pace. Light's boxers bunched around his knees as Kira pushed them down, revealing a taut, firm ass.

L swallowed. Light was now completely naked, member leaking as more moans escaped from his parted lips.

"N-No...mor-AH!" Light's back arched, white fluid shooting out onto the covers, body shaking. Another wide, maniacal smirk made itself known on the murderers face.

This time L could hear what Kira was saying, and he didn't like it one bit.

"I own you Light, you can't make any excuse about that man. It's obvious that detective doesn't want you."

"That's not true!" L shouted. But his words fell on deaf ears as Light began to cry, again, because of him.

"You're right..."

"NO!" L couldn't stand it, he saw Kira leaning in to kiss Light and he definitely wouldn't let that happen-

So he kissed Light instead.

* * *

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**X So what do you think will happen next? Tell me in the reviews, I like reading other predictions. See you next time. Sorry it took so long by the way, I think it's going too fast but, what do you think?  
**


	7. Chapter 7

X**I own nothing, The song is called Down Once More, by Andrew Lloyd Weber.  
**

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It was dark, and so very quiet. Where was he? Light and Kira were nowhere in sight-was he floating?

L was now, after an entire lifetime of knowing the answer, thoroughly confused, . He'd never been this way before, but everything involving Light brought those emotions out.

_**"You're finally here, L"**_ A smooth voice came out of the darkness, resonating in waves.

"Who is this?" L called out. A resounding chuckle was his answer.

"You're Kira." He stated matter of factly. Which meant that L was inside Light's mind, most likely in a mental sense so his physical body was still there. Basically he and Light were now in a dream.

**_"Please turn off all cellphones and electrical devices, the show will soon begin._**" Kira said most seriously.

The nothingness was filled and L found himself dragging Light down a long winding staircase. What he didn't understand was that he was _singing_ as he went, just what was going on?

_Down once more to the dungeons of my black despair,_

_Down we plunge to the prison of my mind..._

_Down that path into darkness deep as, HELL!_

L yelled the last part, false anger seeping into him, he couldn't control his body-hell, this didn't even feel like his body. Down, down, down they went, Light all the while trying to break free from L's painful grasp, but L could not let go. He knew he was hurting the poor boy but his body wouldn't listen. He turned around again and continued to yell at the teen in song. ...Who was for some reason where a dress, with no sleeves. Almost like the kind you would see in a play from the ago.

_Why you ask was I bound in chains in this cold and dismal place,_

_Not for any mortal sin but the wickedness of my apparent face!_

L could just barely here off in the distance the chanting of

_Track down this murderer he must be found!_

Were they talking about him? What did he do? What had he meant when he said he had a wicked face? Why was all this sounding familiar?

The narrow staircase opened out into a large grotto lit by candles, roughly tossing Light onto the awaiting boat he pushed from the sand and steered them down the river. In the blink of an eye the were at the shore and L dragged Light up to a display of a manikin wearing a white wedding gown. The entire cave was lit solely by candles, a metal gate closed off the river.

_Hounded out by everyone!_

_Met with hatred everywhere!_

_No kind words from anyone!_

_No compassion anywhere,_

_Light, Light..._

_Why?, WHY!_

It sounded like his character had had a pretty rough childhood, but L couldn't help but think that Light didn't sound right. It didn't fit the tempo, but what would? Light, Lait, Ra, Raito! That was Light's real name1 everyone just used the English version of it. It meant the same thing but it wasn't the right name. Light's real name was Raito, that's why Kira couldn't kill him. Kira didn't know Light's real name, and L doubted he knew now. But how could he use this to his advantage? Light's name obviously held a lot of meaning to him, so he'd have to make sure Light didn't know he knew until when L needed it most. So he'd still be saying Light when he sang.

When L looked up next, Raito was walking towards him in the wedding gown_, _an almost frightened look on his face. Now, Light sang back.

_Have you gorged yourself at last in your lust for blood?_

_Am I now to be pray for your lust for flesh?_

Light sang in a minor key that forced tiny little shivers up and down L's silk covered back.

_That fate which condemns me, to wallow in blood._

_As you so denied me, the joys of the flesh._

He went to caress Light's face, but he turned away in disgust.

_This face-This infection that poisons our love_

_This face that earned a mothers fear and loathing_

_A mask my first unfeeling scrap of clothing..._

_Pity come to late! Turn around and face your fate!_

_An eternity of this! Before your eyes..._

L pointed to his face as Light backed away. Grabbing his hand he placed a bright almost blue diamond ring in Lights hand as he placed the veil atop his head. The teen slowly walked away and pulled off the veil, taking off the tarp that covered a full body mirror he stood still in front of it.

_This haunted face holds no horror for me now..._

_It's in your soul, where the true distortion lies..._

L turned his head and looked away, that false pain flowing through him. Hearing a splash L looked out at the gate, and found himself looking and himself. There he was, dripping from head to toe and he gripped ferociously at the bars separating them. Just what was going on? Once again his body acted on it's own.

_Wait, I think my dear, we have a guest!_

_"L!" _Light cried out. While l continued.

_Sir, this is indeed, an unparalleled delight!_

_I, had rather hoped, that you would come!_

_And now, my wish comes true-you have truly made my night!_

The fake L opened his mouth and sang back angrily.

_Free him, do what you like only free him! Have you no pity?_

L merely scoffed and turned to Light who was almost in tears.

_Your lover makes a passionate plea._

_Please L it's useless! _Light tried.

_I love him, does that mean nothing? I love him! Show some compassion!_

What lies! L growled in his head. He instead said,

_The world showed no compassion to me!_

Now the fake L turned to Light and begged

_Light, Light, let me see him..._

L pressed on a lever, and the hard iron gate began to rise.

_Be my guest, Sir..._

_Monsieur, I bid you welcome, did you think that i would harm him?_

_Why would I make him pay, for the sins which are yours!_

L walked out into the water where the other L was standing, the gate closed again as he reached into the water and pulled out a thick rope. throwing it around the impostors neck he tied the noose around his arms so he couldn't escape. Walking back he sang to Light horrified face.

_Star a new life with me,_

_Buy his freedom with your love, Refuse me and you send your lover to his death._

_This is the choice, this is the point of no return!_

Light stared at him, tears running freely down his unnaturally pale face.

_The tear I might have shed, for your dark fate..._

_Grow cold, and turn to tears of hate!_

This time, L did felt a real emotion cross through him. Pain, pain for what he was doing to his beloved, he didn't want to do this but he couldn't control himself!

_Light forgive me please forgive me..._That wretched impostor pleaded.

_I did it all for you and all for nothing..._

Light turned to him again.

_Farewell my fallen idol and false friend..._

_We had such hopes and now those hopes are shattered!_

But he wasn't a false friend! He wanted to be more then that...

_Too late for turning back, too late for useless pity!_

That dog spoke again.

_Say you love him and my life is over!_

_All hope of cries for help; no point in fighting!_ L bellowed

_For either way you choose, he has to win _The fake L cried._  
_

_You cannot win! _L agreed

_ So, do you end your days with me, _  
_ or do you send him to his grave? _

He asked Light.

_ Why make her lie to you, to save me? _

L did not answer.

_ Angel of Music... _Light whispered

_ Past the point of no return - _L began

_ For pity's sake, _  
_ Light, say no! _That disgusting man said.

_ ...who deserves this? _Light questioned

_ ... the final threshold... _L continued

_ Don't throw your life away for my sake!_ 'L' Called out.

_ When will you see reason ...? _Light asked the real L.

_ His life is now the prize which you must earn!_ L sneered

_ I fought so hard to free you ... _The other L despaired.

_ Angel of Music ..._ Light whispered again.

_ You've passed the point of no return ... _L finished.

_ ... you deceived me. _  
_ I gave my mind blindly. _Light spoke.

_ You try my patience - make your choice! _L moved closer, as did Light.

_ Pitiful creature of darkness... _  
_ What kind of life have you known? _He asked, slowly running his fingers temple to jaw.

_God give me courage to show you you are not alone..._

With that pledge Light pressed his lips against L's. He could feel the poor teen shaking, forgetting himself, L pushed his beloved back whispering sadly

"Raito..."

A deafening sound of a shattered mirror broke through the silence and Light gasped.

"L? But you were over-" Light spun around and saw Kira, who was still tied to the gate.

"Kira! But how? What is this!"

"**_How can this be happening! I had everything planned!"_** Kira screamed from the gate.

"You deceived me! I hate you!" Kira merely smirked and growled "You can't get rid of me, you need me."

"We'll see about that." Striding over to the lever, he roughly pushed down, and the strangled gasps and cries from the murderer slowly died away. L wrapped his arms around Light's shaking shoulders. Light quickly turned around and cried into his chest.

"You figured it out and...saved me! Thank you so much."

"It's alright, and, I'm sorry, Raito-kun, for all I've put him through because of my own obliviousness."

"...What are you trying to say?" Light looked up from L's chest.

"I love you too, Raito." A huge grin split the teens face.

"Thank you! But you'll have to prove it to Raito."

L immediately gave the teen a passionate kiss.

"I just did."

"No, I mean, Raito, the one you see here is his subconscious. Raito still has doubts about you. But..." He waggled a finger "Your confession just now increased your percentage of Raito believing you."

"How high is the percentage?"

"A little over 50%."

Well, that's probably better than whatever the percentage was before, but how was he going to prove himself to Raito after all he'd done?

"I'm sure you'll think of something, you're not the world's best problem solver for nothing y'know."

With that Light's subconscious lightly kissed L's forehead, and L opened his eyes.

* * *

**So, that's done with. What do you think L will do? What do you think of what happened? Who the hell was Kira since he was just another soul from someone else-or was he? Hell, i don't even know. See you next time.**


	8. Chapter 8

L took a moment to take in his surroundings. Light was now asleep, lying in his own…fluids. Still naked, face still streaked with tears. L felt another jab of guilt at the sight, he should've been more trusting, if he had Light wouldn't have been in the state he was. He needed to think of a way to make up for it, if Light would allow him to.

* * *

Light awoke feel cold and slightly damp. Opening his eyes he saw L leaning over him with a washcloth.

"I see Light-kun is awake. I took the liberty of cleaning his body after Kira's…ministrations." Light's face burned as he realized what Kira had meant, "You…you saw? All of it?" L coughed and turned his head, which was answer enough.

"Well I'm sorry you had to see that, I'm sure it was very unpleasant." Light said bitterly as he went to cover himself with the sheets, feeling uncomfortable with the strange expression on L's face.

"It was _very_ unpleasant," L drawled, "but not for the reasons Light-kun might think." Light scrunched his eyebrows together. L leaned up to look into the teens face, doing this on his knees, surprisingly.

"It was disgusting," Light tried to pull back, hurt, but L caught his chin with his forefinger and thumb like he did with everything else. "It was disgusting," the detective repeated, "because I was not the one touching Light-kun."

...

"You don't mean that." Light stated solemnly.

"Oh but I do Light-kun."

"No, no you don't." The teen shook his head violently, freeing himself from L's painfully loving grip.

"After all the other times you've lied to me, and how you could never believe my feelings, do you really think I can believe you now when you rejected me just a few minutes ago?"

"Light-kun will have to trust me then."

"I just said that I couldn't!" He shouted. Running into the bathroom he quickly locked the door. He was breathing heavily as he slid down to the floor, effectively blocking the door.

"Come out Light-kun." Came L's voice from the other side of the door, a thump from his side told Light that the detective was also leaning against the door. _So close yet so far._ They both thought.

Light was trying to take deep breaths to calm down when he realized something, he felt lighter and there was no haze clouding his mind anymore. The presence of Kira was gone. The youth tried to remember what had happened after Kira had started touching him, but he could only recall snippets of it. Two different L's, one chained to a metal gate and the other gripping his arm almost painfully. Him kissing the one L while the other L watched in despair. The one thing that stood out amongst all was L calling his name after the kiss with a look of sadness.

_Raito_...

It clicked. Perhaps L realized his feelings after he saved Light from Kira because he somehow got into his mind...? Bullshit. it didn't hurt to ask though, right?

"L...What's my name?"

"It's Raito."

_BAM!_

"Owwww..." Light rubbed his head, cursing his recently acquired stupidity for ramming into the door before unlocking it. Grumbling he unlocked it, pushed against the door too hard and once again falling onto his face, not realizing that L would have moved after hearing the racket he caused.

"Is Light-kun alright?" He pouted up at L from his girly position on the floor. "Yeah...why are you calling me that L?" Light reached for L's offered hand "I mean, you know my name so why don't you use it?"

"I feel it is more appropriate to use Light-kuns name if we were in a more...intimate relationship, even then, I would only say his name when we were alone to keep it's value."

"What made you change your mind L? Why are you suddenly so enamored with me?" L guided Light back over to the bed, now stripped of it's dirty sheets. Only the big comforter they had left off the night before was there. Light's OCD twitched at the thought. The detective crouched upon the fluffy material while he took a seat next to him.

"It's all Light-kuns fault. If he did not have the uncanny ability to make me worry about him, I never would have become so attached." He paused, thumb in his mouth. "Light-kun continuously let his guard down around me,this personality he has is addictive, along with his body." Light was flipped onto his back, L straddling him, bottomless eyes pinning him to the spot.

"From the many experiences I have had with Light-kun, I have come to realize that I want everything that is Light-kun to be _mine_." He did not wait for a reply, immediately placing his lips against the teens. He could feel that his object of newly acquired affection had already given in, melting with his touches. It made the detective wonder.

_How long has he wanted this?_

"L...If you're lying..." The teen struggled to speak. "I am not lying, never will I ever lie to Light-kun again. You have my word." He ran his hands up and down Light's smooth chest, finally coming up to meet his hardening buds. Twisting one while rolling the other, he quickly caught those petal soft lips once again, swallowing all the erotic moans his infatuation let out.

"Too many clothes...L!" Light gasped at a particularly hard pinch, arching his back at the strangely pleasurable pain. The detective merely grunted and practically tore his clothes off, leaning above the teen with all his glory. Light was a little nervous now, he still wasn't a hundred percent sure that L was being truthful-but he didn't want to stop, he _couldn't_ stop, not now.

He lifted his hips while L slowly, _slowly_, slid his boxers off. The detective slid a cool hand up and down Light's back as he arched into his touch. L new that Light was still doubtful of him and he didn't blame him, he made a very special note to himself that immediately afterwards he would continue to prove his love until all the doubt in his love's eyes were gone.

Sucking on his fingers, coating them thickly with sugary saliva he slowly moved them down to Light's tiny entrance, giving him the chance to back out. Light only wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss, moaning all the while.

He made quick work of the preparation, hardly being able to control himself he slowly pushed inside.

"Ah! L..." His pace increased, force tripling every second he spent in that blissful tight heat that was Raito.

"Raito feels so good." His passage became impossibly tight as Light came from the sheer sound of L calling his real name.

As they lay in the afterglow of their lovemaking, Light suddenly stated "Next time L, I want to be on top."

L merely looked down at him, eyes surprised "I had no idea Raito could be so bold."

"What do you mean?"

"Raito just asked me if he could ride me so bluntly-"

"No! That's not what I meant! I want to be the one to dominate you next time." Light flushed a bit.

"Oh, it seems that today is full of surprises."

Light narrowed his eyes "How so?"

L shifted a bit making Light gasp, the detective was still inside him.

"I had no idea that Raito had a sense of humor."

* * *

**Okay I know the ending was really sucky and it just cut off short-but i just wanted to end this story. it was way more OOC than I wanted it to be, and I wrote this from one picture that'd popped into my head when I was listening/ watching Phantom of the Opera. But you get the ending right? L thinks Light's joking because Light could never be seme-in his opinion and by the way he's acted like a super Uke throughout this entire story. I'm really starting to want to do a NearXMatt fanfic. I got a good idea for that. and yes, Near will be seme. not sure how that'll work? then you'll have to find out when I get around to writing it.**


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